I have no shame in saying that I’ve recently become obsessed with Demi Lovato’s new album, DEMI. I first started to like Demi’s music back when she released “Skyscraper” back in 2011. It was such a hard hitting song, and I fell in love with it almost instantly. That love was only boosted by Matt Bellis’ cover of the song. If you haven’t listened to it yet, you should definitely check it out!
Anyways, Demi’s newest album has been all I’ve listened to since I’ve arrived in Connecticut. It helps me keep my sanity since I’m going through a lot at the moment with this big move. In a way, it seems as if her songs define my life at the moment. I know that sounds weird, but every time I listen to her album it takes me through an emotional roller coaster, and makes me think about the changes that I’m going through in my life right now, and the events that led up to this moment the past 8 months. Sometimes I’ll just lie here and stare at the ceiling while listening to the album from start to finish. As depressing as that sounds, by the time it’s over it gives me hope that things here in Connecticut will get better soon.
Two of my favorite songs (which is a difficult category, since I love them all) on the album are “Really Don’t Care” and “Shouldn’t Come Back”.
This song, I believe, was written about Demi’s father. Although this song isn’t about young love, it sort of has a different meaning to me. Some of lyrics in the song (…tired of being so mad, …you’ll only let me down, etc.) has recently got me thinking about someone that I’ll refer to as “the one that got away.” I won’t bore you with unnecessary details; so long story short I had a HUGE crush on a girl back at school Fall semester. As we became closer friends, she would start to do and tell me things that in my eyes you don’t do/say unless you’re interested in the person. I guess I started to think of her as more than a friend because I thought she felt the same way too. But when I finally made the move and asked her out on a date, I was rejected (in a rather unfriendly way). It was a rough time. I became angry at her because I felt led on; and at the time I really just didn’t want her back in my life.
In the process of getting over someone, there’s always that hatred period before you and the other person can become friends again. That’s the period that “Really Don’t Care” makes me think about. After the rejection, I was so angry I practically stopped talking to her for a while. I wasn’t so much mad at the rejection, as I was the feeling of being led on and the manner at which I was rejected. I knew that she knew how I felt, so I wish she would have just told me instead of me slaving to figure things out. After some time I got over it, and that anger at her turned more into anger at myself. Anger for allowing myself to fall into such a stupid situation in the first place. I’m not usually one to fall for anyone. I live my life by myself without the need or desire for a relationship with anyone; but every once in a blue moon there comes that one person that knocks me off my feet. But all this is in the past. It’s been months since I’ve been over this, but listening to these songs brings back some memories.
Back to Demi! I truly respect her as an artist because of everything she’s been through. I find her to be an inspiration. So I’ll continue to stare at the ceiling and listen to this album as it helps me get through the next 3 months. I guess you can call me a Lovatic now, although I’ve never really liked labels…