I guess if you were to ask me what I am doing here, I really wouldn’t be able to answer you. The most likely answer is because I’m bored…or I have no life, or my life is so wonderful I just need to write about it, or because Ka deemed it meant to be (for you Dark Tower lovers out there).
But actually, it’s because all I do now is lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Sad, it seems; but not really so. You see, sometimes I lie here and think about things that I haven’t thought about it a while; or imagine things that have yet to pass. Either way, it acts like an escape from my day to day activities (or lack of…), and helps me keep my sanity since I’m stuck in this God forsaken state of Connecticut for the next three months.
Connecticut is where this all begins. Flashback to a couple of months ago and I would have never imagined being where I am now. I was a Penn State student until I graduated a couple of weeks ago. Despite what I am now, Fall semester I was nothing short of a mediocre (at least in my eyes) student with no future ahead of me. Taking 19.5 credits, working 20+ hours a week and having to deal with my excruciating senior thesis research really didn’t allow me to have enough time to think about my future. Towards the end of the semester, when my work load finally started to lighten up, I noticed that I was graduating in four months with no clear plans for the future. My life was spiraling further and further down into the abyss of unemployment, and I was having trouble staying afloat.
I suppose you can call 2013 “My Year,” although it’s not quite over yet. The day after New Years I was passed out in my bed around 11am, hungover from the night before, when I received a call from a supervisor at a company I had interviewed with back in September. Have you ever seen a kangaroo jump? Me neither, but I’m assuming I looked something like that when I leaped out of my bed in excitement. Considering that I had interviewed with this company four months ago and had not received any word from them, I had already given up hope weeks ago. The phone call was pretty much an informal interview for a summer internship in their company.
Yes, you heard right; internship. Why? By the end of the Spring 2012 semester, I had decided to go to graduate school right after my undergraduate degree. As if I didn’t have enough headaches the past four years as an undergraduate student. I probably made this decision on all the wrong reasons, but the two most important were:
- Although I was tired of being a broke college student, staying up all night doing homework, living in a shithole of house with 14 other guys, and averaging 4 hours of sleep per night; I think there was a part of me, deep down, that wasn’t quite ready to leave college just yet.
- Since I had never had an internship in my field within industry, I felt as if I was not qualified enough to find a full time job in the current market. Graduate school would at least allow me an extra year to figure out what to do with my life.
Thus, during the Fall 2012 Career Fair, I told every employer that I was looking for a summer internship because I was to attend graduate school in Fall 2013. Little did they know that I had not even submitted my application for graduate school at the time. Looking back, it wasn’t very smart of me to assume that everything would work out on its own; but nonetheless, it did. A few weeks after the phone call I spoke of earlier, I received my official acceptance into graduate school. I can’t say it was as exciting as when I received my offer packet from Penn State four years ago, accepting me in as a College of Engineering student; but for the first time in my 22 years of existence, I felt my life had purpose and things were finally going my way. They only got better after that, because a few weeks later I received notification that I was offered a summer internship at the company that I had interviewed with back in September.
My life was back on track, and I was going to operate that train all the way up the northeast corridor. For a while things were looking great! Then graduation came about, which marked the start of my downward spiral yet again. Saying goodbye to all my friends for the last time, especially my best bud who has been with me through a lot, was one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do. After five days of emotions and alcohol during senior week, I finally left State College for the last time as an undergraduate student. I went home for two days to say goodbye to my parents; then I loaded up my Bimmer with all my belongings and took that lonely four hour drive from Philly to Connecticut to move into my apartment here by myself. I have a roommate, but he doesn’t move in for another two weeks; so here I am, all alone in this depressing apartment that’s been converted from an old factory God knows how long ago.
Let’s get back to the question, “Why am I here?” I guess this is really for my own amusement; since I’m the only one that will really enjoy my endless rants about how much I hate this state, pop music, spongebob quotes, the nerdy science stuff that accompanies being an engineer, and my plans for world domination. I’m not sure in which direction this blog is going to go, but I figured it’s time for me to start chronicling the shenanigans that is my life…since the only other thing I have to do is stare at that damn ceiling.